When & Why I am Unemployed

Okay. Mari kite sambung. Nampak kan aku unemployed. Lol.

I am now in my 7 months pregnancy, 28 weeks ++. Jadi dah kena kire pergerakan baby. Alang-alang tak berapa nak boleh tidur, marilah kita sambung cerita.

7 months and the baby are very active. Alhamdulillah.

Why am I unemployed?

So in August 2018, aku started working dekat satu company t-shirt ni di Melaka Raya. It was a disaster. Spoiler alert! But I guess God has His reasons. And what doesn't kill us make us go stronger.

Sebelum pergi interview ni, seorang officemate suami saya yang juga cuba apply kat tempat sama, macam bila tau aku had interview dekat sini mention like, company ni selalu sangat open vacancies. And I was giving the benefits of the doubt pun masa tu macam, tak pelah accept je la dulu. Esok kalau pelik-pelik sangat berhenti je.

Ye memang benar company ni boleh dikatakan all years long open vacancies. Ada fews companies under one big company, jadi kalau tak company tu yang run the ads. The other company will run the ads.

I've been offered the position right away after the interview. Katanya taknak membazir masa. Little did I know that the boss is actually jenis yang suka buat reckless decision kinda like tak tetap pendirian punya orang la. Very hard to work with.

My post is graphic designer for branding. Aha. So work and work and work with a lotsssss of meetings yang panjang. So many meetings and so long. And so unnecessary. Its always repeat the same unsolved issues. Itu menunjukkan betapa lemahnya leadership skill seorang boss.

After quite sometimes, I have been offered for another position, graphic designer for marketing pulak. Aku malas nak panjang-panjang, I just says okay.

After quite sometimes, I'm no longer a graphic designer tapi seorang marketing executive pulak. I have to do the proposal for new campaign for the company because apparently budak sales/marketing tak tau guna words. Lol. Tepuk dahi. Yang kelakar tu, beriya nau mentions dia jadi leader of dia punya college dulu, and dia tak pernah buat kerja-kerja macam tu. So unprofessional, arrogant and nobody's care pun in work environment who are you in college/university. We just want somebody to do the jobs.

So my graphics jobs got piles up, sebab aku dah confuse which job should I focus on. I talk to my boss several time, tapi boss aku cakap buat je la sekali jalan. Wow.

After quite sometimes aku jadi budak sales pulak bila mana aku kena keluar jumpa customer. Okay tak pe aku buat.

Because there is so many jobs, aku balik pukul 8/9/10 selama 3 bulan. Not that aku merungut. Life is hard, I know. But at some point I realise everything is just bullshit. And nobody really care pun. And it's not worth my life. It's not worth the peace of my life.

After quite sometime, I tau dah la siapa yang kaki jilat dan sebagainya dan apa problem paling besar company tu. And I got pregnant bulan 11. And aku taknak dah balik lambat. I got pregnant late. And I'm so stress at work. And getting pregnant is not something you get everyday. And I don't want to jeopardize it. Aku balik lambat almost setiap hari. It is very tiring. Aku kena kerja on Sunday and sometimes public holiday. And when I go to check up, my boss says I am missing in action. My boss keep doing interview and ambik orang baru and orang lama dia ugut-ugut untuk buang. So many meetings. Meetings bincang pasal collect duit makan RM10 sebulan and that everyday you have to speak english. Kalau tak you have to pay RM1.

Iwan sampai merajuk aku balik lambat hari-hari and he always be the one yang most understanding. Solat aku terabur. Aku solat asar 6.45. Aku solat maghrib pukul 8.20.

The first trimester is a bit hard. Loya, heartburn, muntah. I try my best. Marketing and sales team kena pindah kat 3rd floor. Before that aku duduk 2nd floor. And when we've move, ada suara-suara sumbang cakap kami tak buat kerja pulak.

Aku pindah tempat ada dekat 3 4 kali. Memula aku masuk aku duduk that side. Lepas tu kena pindah sebab PA baru nak masuk. Then duduk this side. Then bila marketing team dah cukup, kami 4 orang pindah naik atas. Then suddenly 1 of the team mate kena turun bawah, membawa aku kena turun bawah untuk guide dia pulak.

My boss said, now that marketing team dah cukup, I've only have to guide them, but then suddenly he asked things from me. Like you punya design mana. He is so so so indecisive and annoying. I can't bear with him anymore.

Selepas I bring all my stuff dengan printernya ke atas, dia suruh aku duduk bawah pulak. When I refuse, dia cakap aku taknak tinggal budak kat atas sebab sayang sangat. Eh geram pulak aku ko kan yang suruh kami satu team pindah atas. Ingat aku tak de kerja lain ke nak buat.

Yada yada yada. Ada satu hari tu aku keluar awal, sebab boss mintak beberapa t-shirt tu sedia by that day, so being a competent staff lol, aku pun pergila tempat tu. And then suddenly dia buat meeting at 6 when itu waktu orang balik. And aku dapat update suddenly all the post dah ditukar and ada orang cakap belakang pasal aku keluar cari t-shirt tu. I've been so husnuzon dekat dia, but she just showed her true color little by little. So dia lah jadi leader segala leader. Not that I mind, it just that the decision made bila aku tak ada. A little disappointed.

Malas nak ambik kisah, aku kerja macam biasa, no longer supervise my team, sebab aku cakap dengan dorang, I'm no longer your leader, I can't give you guys instructions anymore.

Rupa-rupanya ada orang cakap belakang that aku macam tak boleh fokus sejak akhir-akhir tu. I've tried my best, dan kalau my best tak cukup apa boleh buat kan. Aku rasa aku okay je. For the first time aku rasa we are all on the right track tapi boss aku terlalu micromanage that he asked how much sales we made per days, every damn day. Sabar je la.

So bla bla bla yada yada yada, one of the team mate, kena buang sebab lupa bawak baju masa pergi Singapore. What a pathetic excuse. And dia dibuang hari aku cuti.

Aku dah makin menyampah dengan management. Haha. Ye la budak tu budak digital marketing, ko suruh buat sales, memang la dia taknak. Masa interview cakap tak payah call orang la, lepas tu kena pulak. And I've seen her trying her best, itu yang sayang. Orang dah mula kenal jenama, suddenly things go back to zero again sebab my boss tak paham power of social medias. I've seen the results. Tu yang sayang. When things dah mula nampak hasil. Tapi boss aku jenis hari ni kawen esok dah kena ada anak haha.

And then, masa boss tak ada, si kaki putar alam tu, buat meeting not included me. I got the hint. Maksudnya tak lama lagi aku la kot kena buang. Lol. And she listed all the design/job yang belum selesai as if department aku je tak buat kerja. Aku lalu bilik meeting aku senyum je. Boss pun lepas dah balik dari outstation tu asyik tanya je, "You boleh kerja ke tak?" Few times bai dia tanya aku. I got the hint as well. Ada satu hari tu kena kerja on public holiday. Some datang some tak datang. Aku memang tak larat dah nak kerja. Dah la selalu balik lambat, ahad pun kena kerja and being pregnant is so tiring, and no OT ye guys. Lepas tu dia pakai point tu cakap aku tak bertanggungjawab. Pedih bai. After all the hard work. I never work that hard before. I really really trying my best. It just hurt so much.

After much consideration walaupun tau aku akan susah dapat kerja because I'm 2 months pregnant and all the morning sickness, I finally decided to resign on 31st December.

So there goes the reason why I'm unemployed. And to sum up all the things sebenarnya company tu memang nak semua orang buat sales je at the end of the days. Customers services, graphic designers, marketing executive, hatta PA dia pun kena buat sales. Lol. So at the end of the day, ko kena buat sales jugak. Aha. Boleh kira scam jugak la. Tapi scam acah-acah cara halus. Sepanjang aku kerja kat sana selama 4 bulan, ada ramai sangat staff berhenti, and most of the reasons sebab nonsense jobscobe. Ada yang lagi kesian, mintak customer services kena kemas store. Dia dahlah asthma. Kesian gila. Perempuan pulak tu. And solution dia bagi adalah pakai mask je. Haha.

Anyway, that is the worst company I ever worked at, and I hope if you ever come across a t-shirt company around Melaka Raya, run as fast as you can, because that shit does not worth you life. Lulz. And that is not even the whole ridiculous things happen there. Ada banyak lagi yang dah tak cukup tanah dah nak cerita tapi aku dah malas and I believe you got the point.

So until next time.

Gee is Finally Pregnant after 2 Years of Marriage

Hi guys. Gee datang lagi. Semua post lama iolls dah draftkan sebab malu dengan diri sendiri yang dulu emo tak memasal. Bhahaha. Sepertinya malu bila FB bagi notifications memories lama-lama. Rasa macam nak maki diri sendiri! Sekarang acah-acah dah matang la kononnya.

Anyway, rasa nak menulis semula, satu is sebabnya I am now unemployed. Dua is sebabnya, I felt like I should memorikan pengalaman ini because it just too priceless to not to.

So aku dan Iwan dinikahkan pada 30hb April 2016. Adik ipar aku nikah 28hb April 2017. Hasya lahir pada 27hb March 2018. Maknanya it takes her only 2 months to conceive. Masa tau tu, pedih dia lain macam haha. Adalah rasa jeles sikit sebab of course I would asked myself kenapa orang lain senang sangat nak pregnant. Tapi sikit je la. And not in ill form. Nauzubillah. I thought bila kawen aku pun akan pregnant terus. Lol. It's not happening to everyone guys. Maybe sebab aku dah tua. *Sedau diri. Anyway aku dengan Iwan so far okay je. Happy je nak dapat anak buah baru. Iwan la especially. Aku okay aje pasal anak buah aku up to the moment dah 14 orang dah.

30 April 2016

So bila Hasya lahir, aku masih belum pregnant. Iwan still rileks je. Aku ada jugak cuba ajak dia jumpa doc. Baca tu baca ni. Tapi tak terpergi jugak. Kos salah satu sebabnya. Masa tu rancang nak jumpa pakar dekat hospital swasta. So mestilah kena pikir bajet jugak.

Yang lagi pedih hulu hatinya, bila tengok Iwan sayang betul dekat Hasya tu. Happy gembira betul main dengan Hasya. Not that he shouldn't love her, it just that I feel sad that at the age that he should play with his own kids, instead he play with other's kids. Kadang-kadang borak dengan Aisyah, aku nangis-nangis cakap pasal benda ni. Pasal not being able to give kids to him. Walaupun tak pernah check pun siapa yang problem. Tapi ye la, walaupun most of the time we are okay happy bahagia je, tapi adalah jugak time rasa sedih down dan sebagainya. God's given feelings.

Aku pun ada beli yang sticks untuk detect bila waktu subur tu. Senang la nak plan apa-apa. Mungkin jugak kami tak pregnant-pregnant sebab kami pun malas jugak. Tak serancak pengantin baru. Aha. Kadang-kadang timing salah. Tapi sebelum ni pernah je bersama time waktu yang lebih kurang waktu yang conceive tu. Sebab everytime we do it, I tanda dalam apps phone ni. Senang nak tau tarikh sendiri dan sebagainya. *untuk bacaan dewasa lulz

Test Kesuburan - Ihsan Google

Anyway, suddenly dalam bulan November 2018, aku tetiba period lewat sehari. Selalu aku akan period awal walaupun ada je period lewat sehari, tapi hari tu terus period, dan lalu kecewa. Lepas tu aku pun tak tau mana datang confident. Aku pun buat la pregnancy test. Padahal baru lambat sehari je. Aku buat test 4hb Nov 2018.

Period Suppose Date 3hb November 2018

Dan keluar double line. Masa ni happy la. Walaupun can be false alarm, tapi dapat rasa pregnant seminggu dua minggu pun dah rasa syukur. Pregnancy test tu memang ada kat rumah sebab pernah sekali tu aku cirit birit melampau thought I was pregnant, aku mintak Iwan beli ubat cirit birit dengan pregnant test 1 keping. Tapi tak guna pun. Turn out I am actually gastric. Lulz. So simpan je pregnancy test tu.

Masa tu aku balik kampung, aku pun bawak siap-siap pregnancy test tu dan test dekat kampung. Kenapa aku bawak tu pun aku tak sure. Betulkan instinct manusia ni kuat. Bila dah test tu, aku tunjuk la dekat Iwan. Iwan masa tu tengah tidur. Aku test pagi, sebab baca katanya bagus test waktu pagi. Respond Iwan dia senyum lepas tu dia sambung tidur. Hmmmmm. Aku rasa dia mamai dan dia tak paham kot.

1st Time Buat Pregnancy Test

Walaupun second line tu nampak tak nampak, tapi jenuh aku google, katanya ada harapan. So dalam harapan aku pun menenangkan diri. Ye la, kang berharap sangat kang pun kesian jugak. Iwan pun dah pesan, rileks-rileks je. Lagipun aku plan nak buat test lagi nanti. So we waited a few days, dan aku tak period-period lagi and we do the test again.

2nd Time Buat Pregnancy Test - 14hb Nov 2018

And alhamdulillah, both test come out positive. Walaupun tak berapa nampak yang stick test tu, tapi ada je second line samar-samar. So, kalau nak disimpulkan semua ini, macam mana boleh mengandung, what did we do, we don't really have answer. Semua benda biasa-biasa je. Nanti aku sambung cerita lagi, bila aku ke klinik untuk buat scan kali pertama ya. Dan pelbagai dugaan yang menimpa. Seeya.